Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.

1 am, 21 Sept 09

Eyes are bugging out, very tired. So much to do and so little time.

I've posted info on Myspace and Facebook already, but I should post here as well. The hammer has fallen on the whole medical situation with the Peace Corps. I got off lucky with the surgery in Panama. I was given the option to go home to the Chicago area or return to post on SVG. The return to post option was based on my monthly check-ups with the local ENT. I was informed that when it came time for a second operation, I would be separated from service. Gut feeling is leading me to believe this time will be about 6-8 months or so from now. I met with our Peace Corps Medical Officer (PCMO) on last week Friday and she agreed with me on that estimated guess. It is a pity that I probably was not going to make it to the full close of service with everyone else.

Seems as if I a bit premature to think I'd make it even that far. Turns out that the ENT doctor here, while rather good at what he does and very knowledgeable, does not have the equipment required to see deep enough inside the throat to check the problematic areas in completion. That judgment call was determined by PC Office of Medical Services (OMS) in Washington D.C. My PCMO called me just this past Wednesday to inform me of the OMS decision and that I had 7 days to wrap things up on SVG because I was being sent home on a medical separation.

It was kinda like getting hit rather hard in the stomach and I was at a loss for words. I told people here that the med sep day was like a dark rain cloud hanging in the distance. I told them it was as if that rain cloud was blowing in my direction and it would be here eventually--just seems that storm couldn't wait to arrive. Now I'm in the process of trying to reverse myself back into the American world and rediscover how/where to live back home. I spent the last 2 months or so before service getting all my i's dotted and t's crossed so I wouldn't have to worry about anything while I was away. 2 months...and now the PC says I have 7 days to flip back and 'normalize'. I suppose that in of self is better than many med sep. Those who are on medevac don't even get to return to post first to say their goodbyes and gather their personal things. (Those would be boxed and mailed back by PC staff members) At least this way I can get a sense of closure.

That closure hasn't been easy and I'm coming to realize just how many things I've managed to do over the past year and what it has meant for some of the people here. I had a rather tough assignment here when things fell apart with my host organization rather early into the assignment. Since then I dug deep into Spring Village and found niches here to fill. The people of my village have really taken to me come out to show support in my leaving. Many have even asked if they could file petitions and send letters to keep me here--although some of them still think I'm just hoarse and that silly about being sent home for hoarseness.

So I tossed together at the last minute a photo slideshow with music to honor the thngs I've witnessed and embraced over the past year. This tribute is just to my Vincy people that I've shared so much with over the past year. I wanted to have it ready for a going away party that I had on Saturday which much success. I might make one with the wonderful volunteers I've served with if time permits soon.


<< Just discovered that Youtube pulled the sound from the video for copyright issues on the 2nd one, don't know if they will eventually pull sound on the first. So I uploaded the video to Vimeo and have reposted it in one full video clip here for ya!>>>

Spring Village Goodbye from Shawn Rujedi on Vimeo.

One hell of a year. Thank you Spring Village and those who reside therein and the surrounding areas.

And on that note, I'm set to come home back to the Chicago area this coming Wednesday. Life will close this chapter and begin another. I still have a desire to pursue law/grad school in the fall of 2010 and now I just need to figure out the best way to fill the gaps till then.

Stay safe and happy,
ciao tutti,
~your local wannabe jedi
~Shawn

Change. It happens everywhere.

14 Sept 2009, somewhere around 1:30pm

Avocados (also known here as zabuca or pear) are in full swing. It has been a very tasty past couple of weeks and the guacamole is wonderful. Still haven't gotten too many into guacamole in my village. My host dad refers to it as pickney tootoo...pickney is dialect for kids, so I am sure you can guess the tootoo part. Still too much of any good thing isn't good for you and it is a comical reminder everytime the avocados come raining from the trees and I gobble them up after missing them for so long...and a couple hours later remember why it isn't good to eat too much avocado. Still, it is too yummy to pass up. ^_^ What a wonderful food avocado is.



The yellow face has tasty avocado...the blue faces have none. ^_^

The political situation in SVG is rather interesting for the outsider right about now. They are in the final leg of an attempt for a constitutional referendum. The government has spent the past 6 or so years pulling in the opinions and other inputs from all walks of Vincentians--here and abroad. The government parties were at one time together on this venture, but for a myriad of reasons have since taken different stances. The government (majority party) has been pushing a YES vote and the opposition (minority party) has been pushing a NO vote. There are many Vincentians here that believe neither party should be pushing any sort of YES or NO vote and should only be engaging in educating the people on the new constitution's contents and empowering them to place their own individual votes that remain unswayed by any particular political influence.

I have heard and seen a great deal of political tribalism during my first year here, but this seems to be taking things to a whole new level. If I was to ever pursue political science as a PhD field of study, I think I would return here for a dissertation as I have never seen such levels of political tribalism before and also seen the public and government so close together and readily accessible--a given considering SVG is a small nation.

I will refrain from discussing the bits and pieces of the constitution or my own personal thoughts on it. However, I certainly raised an eyebrow at the words of the Prime Minister in this week's newspapers. He is an incredibly smart and strategically savy individual who does a great deal of planning in much of what he says and does, which is why I will only guess at his selection of published material.

As published in all of this week's major newspapers, the final paragraphy of his "The Dynamic of Constitutional Reform":
PERVERSE TO VOTE "NO"
It is a perversity based o petty politics or a debilitating, personal vanity to vote "NO" in the "referendum election". A "NO" vote has no credible intellectual basis or national interest consideration on which to ground it. A "NO" vote would make our nation the laughing stock of the region and diaspora. The young people and generations unborn would damn us if we are ever so foolish as to vote "NO".

Interesting way to choice to motivate the public Honorable Prime Minister...


As I try to keep up with the barrage of news in the media back home, I wonder why our country is in the process of devouring itself on this Health Care reform. It seems as if our nation is acting very much along the political tribalism lines I see here on SVG. The whole heath care reform that President Obama's administration has been pushing, or many of the addressed aspects of it, should have not been any massive surprise to anyone. At the very least we should have become rather acquainted with his view and ideological goals for this reform during his campaign run for Presidential office. He won the Presidency by a rather healty margin, which should give credence to his plans for the office term. With respect to the other major contenders for the presidency--Senator McCain and Secretary of State Clinton, they both acknowledged the need for this reform and I honestly feel that if Clinton was voted into office that she would have been pursuing much of the same path as President Obama on this issue.

Health Care reform is something that we truly need in our country. I won't say what is currently in the policy cauldron, bubbling away, is a perfect and ideal solution but it is certainly a step in the right direction. As with any significant issue in our nation's political climate, I strongly suggest people to do more individual investigation on these details and form your own opinion. Look into the health care systems of other nations, especially those with strong democratic governments that have a somewhat/greater socialized health care systems in place that is well supported by their public. Continue listening to pundits and political groups if you wish, but seek your own opinions and listen with an open mind to the on-going debates. Our debate should not be at all focused on if we reform or not, but rather on how we do it.



Enough of my ranting....more on what's up with me.

Went to a wedding this past Saturday. One of the volunteers here just finished up his Close of Service after fulfilling his 26 months this past Thursday followed that by marrying his Vincentian finace! How very cool. I was asked to be a groomsman, so I was all gussied up in a black suit and tie--of course it was Caribbean hot, ug. The wedding started a bit late...nearly an hour, probably on time after including for Caribbean time flow. The whole ceremony was great, but there was just one part that struck me as a bit odd. There came a moment when the pastor was having them agree to their respective duties as husband and wife. The wife was asked to submit to her husband, obey him, and recognize him as superior and the head of the household. The husband was asked to respect and love his wife. There was a bit more to both, but they each held the general outlook that was very clearly spoken to dominance and control of the husband.

I found this interesting given the steps forward to bring men and women closer together in terms of fundamental gender equality. I was certainly not expecting this and from what I understand--one of our female volunteers in attendance let her jaw drop after hearing such things. Of course we had our jokes about it later on, but it does give credence and shed light on how many things can/are interpreted here in the social and family structure.

For those wondering about the vocal dilemma--yes, I'm still hoarse. Currently taking some decongestants and that seems to be helping a little bit, but I'm far from being considered at a normal operative level. As for expected full recovery timelines, there are not any. Just go at it one day at a time.

On a personal note, I was talking with another volunteer the other night and we found that we are both experiencing similar situations. It is a strange concept and I'm not sure what to do about it. There seems to be this cyclic sensation of where I'd rather be and what I'd rather be doing. When I am at home--most notably when I'm on the computer/internet--I find my mind drifting to things back home. What I would be doing if I was there right now or how family & friends are doing. Of course email, chat, and various other social connectivity options help keep in touch, but it doesn't stop the 'what-if' questions from coming and life back home certainly hasn't stopped or slowed just because I joined the Peace Corps. There are lots of things that play through the mind, but the overall sensation is one of wanting to be home.

However, the flipside of that situation is when I am not at home. Whether I am just sitting on the block with guys listening to them rant about the current situations here, helping farm bananas, teach computers, or try to help where I can...it makes me glad to be here. It is when I am out and about in my community that helps me keep myself anchored here. To say things are difficult to get done here is an understatement, but I like interacting with the people in my village.

The other volunteer I was talking to had expressed a rather similar experience and it just seems so strange--as if split between two worlds and desiring to be a part of both, but only when engaging in activities that involve one world or the other. It isn't that I'm fighting to get home or entrenching myself to stay here. I'm happy and comfortable here so don't misconstrue these thoughts as a form of homesickness. Just an observation in what's on the mind.



The only thing here right now that is rather unsettling is what I am 'supposed' to be doing. Most of the volunteers here work in the schools and with some secondary programs outside of the schools. There are also a couple that are attached to community groups and that seems to be keeping them rather busy. My groups are keeping me rather busy too...but something seems to be back-firing with them. When I work with one group, I seem to be experiencing some pressure from that organization's "parent group" to back off from what I do with that group. I think the "parent group" of this community organization would like nothing better than to have me disappear from the community efforts--a sense of turfism if you will.

The other group I'm working to support is extremely new and as a community umbrella group it is dependent on participation from other village groups to participate for support. There are a few key people that have expressed interest in supporting the group and I'm very thankful to be able to work alongside them. Yet the majority of village groups that should be participating to fill out the umbrella group simply not there. I've been the length and breadth of this village. I've talked to people here and spent a great deal of time listening--in shops, the street, and on porches. I've sat back and watched others--how they interact; where they go; and I feel as if I've gotten a decent hold on the village realities. When I communicate with them, there is a sense of interest and desire to see certain things happen to improve the quality of life in the village. So I go about learning what it takes to make those things happen and present findings to the umbrella group. Unfortunately, there has been less and less involvement at the umbrella group meetings and I seem to have been left hanging at the end of a stick.

All in all, it isn't bad to deal with and yet I find the missing component to the equation is the motivation to act on what a person says. I have seen mathematical problems and equations that make heads spin and look as if they were written in ancient languages. They seemed impossible, but there are indeed solutions if one knows how to interpret the symbols and approach the equation. The dilemma of how to motivate a person, group, village, or society is an equation that seems more daunting than the previous math problem. There are methods to decode the social symbols and ways to approach social mobility--but how... Ug. It is enough to cause a headache at this point. Going to lie down now and get up later to fix a few computers.



Stay safe and happy
ciao tutti
~your local wannabe jedi
~Shawn

President Obama's Health Care speech to Congress on 9 Sept 09

10 Sept 09 -- 9:30am

As everyone should know--the U.S. is embroiled in the midst health care debate and reform. There are arguments from the left and the right. Both sides offer valid points and nearly none say that the system should remain as it is. We are being torn apart by the media, our politicians, and the general public on what could be one of the most important pieces of legislation of the past 50 years. As pointed out in President Obama's speech, every President since Theodore Roosevelt (who served as President at beginning of the 20th century) has attempted some sort of health care initiative. Let us come together now in order to push forward through the darkness of confusion, scare tactics, and private interests to encourage and support our legislators to create a vibrant bill for the good of all Americans. We can find a way. We will find a way.

So in case you missed, as I did, the live broadcast of President Obama's speech yesterday to the U.S. Congress on this pressing matter I have embedded it here:

--the first 5 minutes of the first clip is applause, but he does start the speech in the first clip--
--for those with great concerns over the cost of the plan, he addresses much of this in part 5--
















---had a bit of a problem with the final part of this speech from the person that uploaded it. These last bits are from a different uploader and there is little bit of overlap ---








I am proud to support my President on this issue and if I was not in the Peace Corps, I think that I would be organizing support for it back home--in pubic discussions, door-to-door talks, and whatever it would take to help educate the public to make the right choice for themselves.

Stay safe and happy
ciao tutti
~your local wannabe jedi
~Shawn

War against apathy

It's been awhile since I posted--completely on me. I'm online almost everyday, but finding the words to say just don't come out I suppose.



So a year on island has gone by now (a year as an official volunteer on 20 October). It was one thing to say that we've been here a year and perhaps it felt as such. Yet I think it really came to me when the current volunteers (both those at the 1-yr mark and those who are still here wrapping up their 2-year service) gathered at the air-port to greet the new, incoming volunteers. The airport here is small enough that we were able to assemble along the outer fence line and proceed to scream, hoot, and pound the fence as we saw them coming off their plane. Then we lined up like complete hooligans immediately outside the arrival exit doors waving a Vincy flag for people to walk through as we chanted various things like SVG, Peace Corps, and being wonderfully obnoxious. Thankfully, security must figure it's only once a year for a very short time--so we're forgiven. ^_^ Thanks airport security.

See the all the arrival shots here!

Here's the boss-man, Mr. Cool coming through.


The arrival welcoming crew


We ventured back to the office for a little meet and greet for a few hours. It was nice to see everyone face to face--even the current volunteers. Some of us here meet up from time to time for small events, but as a group we very rarely all get together in one place. This time we had every volunteer on island there and it was very cool. Scott and I stuck around until each host parent came to pick up there respective volunteer and take them to their new homes across SVG. It was akin to watching the box of puppies seeking adoption. ^_^ This arrival was very different from our group's landing last year. We didn't do a meet and greet, but we were met by a few volunteers at the arrival doors very briefly. Didn't have much chance to say hi, because the moment we got past our greeters our host parents were already at the airports to pick us up. Also, we arrived on a Saturday and didn't have anything specific to do until Monday when our training started. This gave us a couple days to figure out something to do as we settled into our village--no word from the staff or other volunteers. This time around, they landed on a Monday and started training the next day. Neither is better or worse, but interesting to compare.

President Obama welcomes you


The whole volunteer SVG crew is now assembled!


So while that was happy, joyful times--there is still plenty to do work to do.
The past couple of weeks has posed to be rather interesting in terms of 'passing the buck'. With my time and energy focusing on the two main groups I'm working with, I've rolled up my sleeves a bit for them.
--The tourism group, Cumberland Valley Eco-Tourism Organization, really needs to come together since their efforts are going to be launched as a small business group responsible for two tourist sites. I'm trying to fill in the training gaps from the larger development projecct, rather large gaps.
--The Spring Village Action Council has been having a hard time gathering its supposed members and putting our long talked about village enhancement project to paper. Seeing that project through is my driving goal while I am here.



---------------------------------------------------

With the tourism project, there is an controlling group that is responsible for strengthening and training some dozen or so community tourism groups. They are covering everything from business fundamentals, accounting, computer training, marketing, safety & security, hospitality, and all sorts of other small start-up training. However, in my opinion, much of this training (at those I've attended) seem to be nothing more than a light dusting on these topics and are not engaging the groups. A few of our group members feel that the rest of the group is not taking the upcoming responsibilities seriously enough. Sometimes I wonder if the provided 'training' in not designed in such a way as to capture the involvement and bring these members on-board. Additionally, I feel as if this light dusting called training won't be sufficient to help these groups manage their sites if they've never managed something similar before.

I've offered extensively to assist the tourism development project team in any way they might see fit. However, there is a general feeling of turfism in that anyone who is not actively working as staff on the project team or contracted by them should be involved with the training. The project liaison and I have bumped heads a few times with my attempts to do some side training for my local village group. I warned the group about this training situation long ago and they didn't seem too concerned. Now that they are starting to realize that the sites will be ready and they'll be operating them by the end of the year (if not sooner), I'm being approached to assist with all sorts of things from the business plans to site marketing to doing the computer work for them. I haven't entirely let myself do all of their work. Just this morning, one of the members was asking me why I didn't get the tourism statistics they needed and I replied because it was them that needed to get it. So we met on middle ground as I sat her down at my computer and had her use her email to communicate to the Ministry of Tourism. They must stand on their own two feet.




Marketing this group is my lastest drive for them. I have a running goal to get them an internet presence (email, social networks, and website) all up and running within two months. They will be alongside me nearly every step of the way. Thankfully, there are not webhosts with relatively easy to use interfaces that allow a person to literally drag-and-drop their way to building a website. Between that and a few tweaks of help, we should have something looking rather nice in the near future. Score one for them and since I'll make sure they can update it themselves, score one for both of us on sustainability.

I've also started to try help a local couple craftspeople to work on their product marketing as well. One of them in involved with the tourism project also--so the repeat coaching should help reinforce the concepts. I'll be happy to provide links for them in the future...

-------------------------------------------

The Spring Village Action Council has been it's own bunch of fun. We're going to meet later this evening and have lots to discuss. As a group, we were gathered to act as a networked council--bringing to the table representatives from the churches, non-church organizations, and interested individuals. We've noticed it is extremely hard to get many of the groups to respond regularly and many individuals don't seem to really acknowledge us as yet. Must strategically plan on how who we should target to expand membership and drive to enlarge ourselves in order to have sufficient numbers to share responsibilities.

We've been mapping out a development project--a somewhat ambitious one--as a tool to establish the group and provide several needed services to the community. However, without a strong membership base it seems as if our meetings are just going in circles. Tonight I hope to gain commitment to a general timeline for the project. Even if that timeline is long, it will give them something on a calendar to work along. The things we have planned out would greatly benefit the community and I fear should I be sent home early that much of this will fall through...

• Crossroad direction and neighborhood (rather than street) signs through the village
  
• Bus shed on the highway
  
• Establish a family play/relax park
  
• Establish an agricultural inputs shop
  
• Complete a bridge to gain access to part of the beach. Currently the river we cross can quickly rise to dangerous levels.
  
• Remodel parts of our community center to reflect changing interests
  
• Remodel and establish a computer training lab in one of the community center rooms.
  

We can do this, but we have to get motivated and start to write. I've told the members in the group that funding is available for those that work towards it--which has been one of their greatest concerns.

-----------------------------------------------------



I think the hardest part of what I do isn't facilitating any particular topic.

• It isn't working with kids--->way outside my comfort zone.
  
• It isn't patiently explaining a concept 4, 5 or 12 times to someone.
  
• It isn't trying to communicate with people while being hoarse for the past many months.
  
• It isn't doing lots of walking and hand-shaking to track down people or information to make something possible.

The hardest part about what I do is fight a war against apathy, non-motivation, and a general culture of undermining one another. I've talked on many occasions to people in my village and they will all agree on a particular idea, but none seem to have any idea as to how to start changing that culture. They will readily admit such practices run rampant in the village and the greater St. Vincent, but they won't admit to doing such things themselves. The barest strand of this aspect of Spring/Vincy culture shows that a person would like a certain level of happiness/standard of living. While this is not inherently problematic, the common thread continues that if someone else might become better off by helping that person--such as buy from a shop or contribute in any way to an organization, then a person would avoid or even work against the betterment of the person trying to succeed.

Anyone you ask shall tell you just what this community needs, but the vast majority will not provide any assistance towards the work that needs to be done. Invitations to consultations and other meetings would be announced that offer an opportunity for people come and be heard; yet the far majority do not come. Even recently, there was a land and watershed consultation done that actually had a decent turn-out and when the facilitators mentioned a potential of funding for environmental protection work, members of the audience began spinning question after question about when some group will come and fix this and that for them. The facilitators attempted to bring these people on-board with a collaborative venture, yet the audience members turned away from it. It seems apparent that the majority of the people simply want something done for them without personal investment. The local culture is one of negative criticism and perhaps it would be harder to criticize something negatively if that person had been a stakeholder on the effort.

My work here strongly discourages the "do it for them" approach and I don't believe in it either. Sadly, far too many stories have come from previous volunteers that say if you want something done, you just have to do it yourself. I've had to stoop to that before, but am trying my best to bring at least on person with me when something needs to get done. And so the war on apathy continues....

Stay safe and happy
ciao tutti
~your local wannabe jedi
~Shawn